HOW TO MAKE A MOUTH-WATERING DISNEY FILM
Want to create a show-stopping princess or expand your fairytale know-how? From magical flying carpets to magnificent fairy godmothers, transforming frog princes to all singing, all dancing cutlery, well, this recipe gives you everything you need to know and more.
INGREDIENTS
Separated parents
Animal sidekick
Showy villain
Objects coming to life
Song
Princess being rescued
Love at first sight
Beauty
METHOD
1. Find an innocent young naive girl whose past life was quite almost near perfect and carefully rip their parents out of the equation whether it be killing both of them or maybe just one depending on how you feel at the time of preparation. If killing them seems too much it is ok to remove the child from their parents for an extensive period of time.
2. Once the parents are well and truly out of the way, melt the girl’s heart even further by adding an extra villainous villain to dampen their happiness and hold them back from their destiny. Preferably a women who is infatuated with beauty and youth.
3. Whilst the villain is cooking up ideas of how to reign terror onto the girl, prepare inanimate objects that will come alive in order to create an alternate happiness for the girl helping her forget the gloom of her life
4. Then sizzle in a sidekick to add a more loving flavor usually this is an animal, why an animal? Because animals are wise they have a sense of morality making them a good aid when working against villain’s, animals also make the greatest companions because they only have your best interest at heart.
5. Don’t forget to adhere to the male gaze. In all of your preparations, beauty is important and remember that women are solely “the bearer of meaning and not the maker of meaning”. Keep the girls' waist tiny, her hair long and her face pretty which is the most important thing for this recipe.
6. Pour in a handsome prince who falls in love instantly. As unrealistic as it may sound, it is crucial to rescue the unfortunate damsel in distress from the sad life you have created for her. Keeping her passive, allow him to work hard to save her, add something a little romantic in order for him to carry out his task such as true loves kiss, or magical slippers.
7. Leave them to bask in their happiness, the villain will be well and truly defeated as good always triumphs over evil in the end. Sprinkle a substantial amount of song into the recipe as it is an absolute must in creating the most epic Disney movie of all time. If there’s no song the film will not rise to its maximum potential.
